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In fashion, there are rules and then there are faux pas. No white after Labor Day. Don’t mix black and brown. Never wear tights with open-toed shoes. These are rules, and rules are made to be bent or broken. But a faux pas is something entirely different.
In my opinion, most faux pas are the result of one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Most often, sloth–you buy an item for a utilitarian purpose but over time, that purpose is obfuscated by your laziness. For example, Uggs.
You buy a pair of Uggs to keep your feet warm on chilly Winter evenings at home. Then one day, you decide to wear them to the grocery store because you don’t feel like getting dressed for the store. Then the next day, you decide to wear them to brunch because it’s just a casual meal with friends.
And so on, and so on, until one day you’re wearing them to work because the office is cold, and your feet hurt, and they’ll be hidden under your pants, and who’s looking at your feet anyway, and besides, everyone is doing it?
Today’s faux pas, however, is a sloth and greed combo pack that would make a Catholic priest’s toes curl.
Uggs: Stud-ly, but still not Fashionable.
Meet the new Uggs designed by Jimmy Choo. That’s right, I said Jimmy Choo. The creator of sky high stiletto’s has decided to go slumming in shearling. That is if you consider paying $795 for a studded pair of Uggs slumming.
The idea of paying that kind of money for a pair of glorified bedroom slippers is astounding to me. The insanity of it almost makes wearing regular Uggs with their $140 price tag seem fiscally responsible. I hate Uggs in all their forms, but the idea of paying eight bills for a pair is just beyond the pale.
And what on Earth is Tamara Melton thinking? Her brand is a symbol of glamour and elegance, a beacon of hope for fashionistas everywhere , and she pairs up with UGGS! Perhaps it would make more sense if she had embarked upon this collaboration three years ago when Uggs were at the peak of their popularity, but like Juicy Sweatsuits and Crocs, Uggs are on a bit of a downswing.
Bottom line, if you really want a pair of studded Uggs, buy a Bedazzler. Because if you spend $800 on a pair of shearling boots, you deserve to have your credit card taken away from you.
Sixties T-Bar Heels (Boden, $149)
I spotted these berry-colored heels in Real Simple a couple of months ago and just fell in love with them. They are the perfect mix of menswear-inspired chic and understated femininity. And the color…Lord knows, I love berry-hued anything. (Except Uggs. Nothing can fix Uggs.) They also come in black patent.
The menswear trend has popped up a few times over the life of this blog. It creeps into blazer cuts and accessories. But last time, the powers that be at Vogue were asking me to wear brogues and high-heel loafers, and I just refused. So these t-strap, mid-heel pumps are a much more approachable way to inject a bit of Marlene Dietrich into my attire.
If you like the t-strap look but prefer something in a higher heel, these Sole Society pumps can get the job done for $50. I also adore these metallic and black pumps from Rachel Zoe. These Aldo Kveta pumps also come in pewter, black and patent.
Monday’s bombing at the Boston Marathon affected everyone in different ways. If you’d like to show your support for the victims of this tragedy and your solidarity with the people of Boston, you can purchase a Stay Strong t-shirt. 100-percent of the proceeds go to The One Fund Boston.
Politicos: Looking for a piece of art for your office? I love this modern, patriotic print from Gilt.
The latest video from Dove’s real beauty campaign asked women to describe what they see when they look in the mirror, and then asked total strangers to describe how they saw the women. The results are mind-blowing.
Speaking of body types and acceptance, UK-fashion brand Debenham’s just released their summer lookbook, and the women in the photos don’t fit into the typical model stereotype. This is a good thing.
I wanted a white dress to wear to a friend’s birthday bash, so when I spotted this white shift dress at The Outnet, I had to have it. It’s certainly much cheaper than the to.die.for Broderie Burberry frock I had my eye on.
Who What Wear challenged a celebrity makeup artist to leave her designer beauty products behind and identify the best lipsticks available at the drugstore. My favorites from her list of 12? CoverGirl Lip Perfection Lip Color in Flame and Darling, Maybelline SuperStay in Wine and Forever and Rimmel Lasting Finish by Kate Moss in 101 and 104.
We all know how I feel about Uggs, so it’s no wonder that so many of you e-mailed me a copy of BuzzFeed’s “20 Pairs of Uggs That Will Destroy Your Faith in Humanity.”
I love the lace embroidery on the neck of this silk tank. It would look so great under a jacket or cardigan.
Not sure what the fashion-forward trends for spring/summer are? Wendy from Wendy’s Lookbook put together a graphic novel-inspired video that runs down the 20 trends you need to be on the lookout for this season.
Lastly, I’ve said before how much I love NARS nail polish, especially Purple Rain, so I was so excited when they came out with their Limited Edition Pierre Hardy sets were released. Now, if only I could decide which one to buy. I’m torn between Ethno Run (Denver Broncos colors), Vertebra (mauve and deep pink) or Easy Walking (gold and camel). So many choices…
Sweater: Buttoned Boatneck Sweater ($73)
From Left, Necklace: Z Designs Spiked Bib Chain ($34) Bag: Dooney & Bourke Large Shopper ($415) Shoes: Madewell Sidewalk Skimmer ($135) Blazer: Band of Outsiders Blazer ($988) Jeans: AG Charlotte Jean ($164)
From Right, Earrings: Gorjana Star Studs ($35) Watch: Kors Runway Watch ($195) Slippers: Sweater Knit Boot ($20) Scarf: LoveQuotes Linen Scarf ($95) Leggings: Signature Leggings ($40)
For Casual Friday. Horizontal stripes can be tough to wear, but adding a scarf, a long necklace or a blazer can break up the pattern and lengthen where the stripes widen. Depending on your figure, stripes like this may not be the best look for you. In its place, I would suggest this ivory sweater.
To complete the outfit, I chose a straight leg jean, not as snug as a skinny, so a bit better for the office. I added the leopard flats and chocolate brown bag to pull the look together. I also added this spiky necklace to bring a bit of shine to the outfit and further break up the pattern. If you’d like to add some more color, I would choose either this deep blue or this grey necklace.
If you like the orange blazer but don’t feel like surrendering your entire paycheck to own it, Rebecca Minkoff makes a similar rust-colored jacket ($368) , this Michael Kors jacket is $150 (and my favorite) and this under-$100 blazer.
For the hair, I would wear it half-up or pulled into a low teased ponytail. For the makeup, I would choose a dark brown eyeliner with gold shadow and berry lipstick.
For Football at Home. You’re probably looking at this outfit and thinking two things: 1) are those leggings as pants and 2) are those Uggs? But before you hyperventilate, remember that this outfit is to be worn while sitting at home, on the couch, eating chips–not out in public.
Also, those are not Uggs. I would sooner carry a Vera Bradley bag through the halls of the Capitol before I gave those people one penny of my money. The boots in the set are slippers for indoor wear and warmth. I don’t plan on pairing them with a miniskirt and cruising the Venice boardwalk.
I’ve purchased the J.CREW signature leggings before. I like them, but my favorite leggings are still the yoga leggings made by Victoria’s Secret.
I added the earrings and watch, because I always like to wear a few accessories. White watches have been popular for a few years now, if you like them but need something under-$100, this is a nice alternative. I also added a scarf for warmth and style. Love Quotes is a good brand, but it’s a bit pricey. If you’re in the market for a less expensive ivory scarf, this knit one from Nordstrom is $22.
For the hair, I usually just wear mine in a ponytail on the weekends. I like to give my locks a break, so I just dry shampoo unless I have somewhere to go. For the makeup, ha, what makeup? The only makeup I wear when I’m home is chapstick.
Downtown apartment living has many perks. My favorite restaurants are steps from my front door, and food can be delivered at virtually any hour of the day. I get to enjoy the pool in the summertime. And I don’t have to worry about taking out the trash or mowing the lawn.
One drawback, however, is how difficult it can be to share space with dozens of other people who you may or may not know. When your neighbors have a fight and shout things like, “All I do is work all day and look beautiful, and all you do is criticize me and drink beer,” you hear that. When they walk to the trash room wearing nothing but a bathrobe and Uggs, you see that. And when they cook a delectable pork roast for their dinner party, you smell that (and make a mental note to become better friends with the people in 1014).
For the past three weeks, nearly every night at 11:00PM, I have heard the sounds of a commotion followed by the aggressive thumping of my neighbor’s headboard against a wall that’s clearly taken more hits than Muhammad Ali.
In the beginning, this near-nightly chorus of slams and thuds was amusing. Again? That’s four times this week. Good for them. By the second week, it became a humorous annoyance. Doth I hear the slamming of a headboard? It must be 11:00PM. But now, at the close of week three, it’s just.not.funny.anymore. Are you freaking kidding me?!?!? *turns up volume on television to 29*
Now, I don’t usually go to bed before midnight (I don’t sleep. I blog.), but last night, I crawled under the covers a little after 10:00 PM, only to be awoken by the broken staccato of oak on plaster minutes later. This leaves me with a dilemma: Obviously, I don’t want to listen to 15-30 minutes of outtakes from the musical STOMP! five-nights-a-week. But I firmly believe that my neighbors have the right to do whatever they want in that apartment, as often as they want.
In fact, I’m happy for them. It’s somewhat comforting to know that two people can be so attracted to one another that “bagpiping” 5-6 times per week is considered normal. But I.cannot.live.this.way for the remaining 11 months of my lease. And this is not the first time that something like this has happened to me during my eight years in D.C.
In 2005, a former next door neighbor dated a woman who the entire sixth floor referred to as The Screamer. She had pipes like Christina Aguilera and an X-rated vocabulary that would have made Jenna Jameson blush. After a few weeks of having the calm of our weekend nights broken by her loud chanting, and nearly a dozen letters sent from building management without reply, another neighbor and I decided to take decisive action.
In short, we borrowed a bullhorn from a relative of hers and then sat on the floor in my bedroom waiting for The Screamer to make her entrance. Once she did, my friend began moaning–ala When Harry Met Sally–into the bullhorn. After a minute or two, the couple realized they were being mocked and stopped. That was The Screamer’s finale performance.
Was this a bit of an over reaction? Probably. But we were 22, severely sleep deprived and trying to study for grad school/med school finals. Drastic measures seemed warranted.
This time, a bit older and wiser, I’d like to handle things more calmly–especially since the only thing I can hear is the sound of drywall being beaten until fork tender.
I’d ignore the thumping if it weren’t so loud, and if it didn’t pain me to watch my pictures hold onto their nails for dear life every time the shaking starts. So I thought that the readers of this blog might have some ideas about to handle this situation. (Moving is not an option, since breaking my lease would cost more than my undergraduate education. And I already tried earplugs, they didn’t help.)
Thus far, the only thing I can think to do is to slide a note under their front door politely asking them to move their bed a little further away from the wall. Though I don’t know what I would write in such a note. (Dear Sir or Madam, While I am not one to begrudge anyone their nightly orgasm, I must respectfully request that you move your bed three inches further away from the western wall of your apartment. Sincerely, Your Sleep Deprived Neighbor and One Very Abused Headboard –P.S. Good for you!) I also don’t know how such a plea would be received. They might be embarrassed, or they might consider my note the opening salvo of World War III.
How would you respond if you were me? How would you react if a neighbor kindly and politely asked you to move your bed a little further from the wall? I’m open to suggestions, leave them in the comments.